Javan Hunter Edwards' Birth Story

It all began on February 25th, 2011 at 7 am. We arrived at the hospital to be induced. I was very nervous because earlier that  week when the dr had checked me there had still been no dilation. I was very worried about going from starting at nothing when being induced. So they got me hooked up to the baby monitors and started an IV. My dr came in around 8:30 and checked me and said I was at a 2-3 and broke my water. I was very relieved that I had already started to dilate, but he also informed us that the lab lost my test for strep b so they were going to give me the antibiotics just in case. Then they started my pitocin. Pitocin is the worst drug ever blah it makes contractions so painful. Any ways so then it was just a waiting game. We all thought I would progress fast and have Javan quickly since that's what happened with my last and this was baby #4 for me. By noon they were upping the Pitocin for the 4th time and I was in serious pain and only dilated to a 4 so I decided to get the epidural. We talked with the anesthesiologist earlier in the morning about how last time I had a reaction to something that made me itch so she left out the fentanil hoping that would help with the itching. I was glad that this time around we avoided all other pain meds so nothing would get to Javan. At this time they also realized Javan was face up instead of down and while I could still deliver him that way it was going to be harder and he'd yet to drop any. So after getting my epidural we started the fun time of flipping mommy around to flip Javan around. Every 30 min I swapped positions until I was dilated to a 10. We started off with me kneeling on the bed leading against the raised head of the bed, then on my right side with left leg  in a stirrup, then left side with right leg up in a stirrup then sitting straight up like in a straight back chair. By 1:30 I was dilated to a 5 by 3 I was dilated to a 7 by 4:30 an 8 by 5:30 9.5 but 10 with contractions at this point the dr came in and I started pushing. After  few contractions of pushing the dr realized he wasn't making it past my pelvic bone Javan would get to a certain point and just not move any further. So the dr tried vacuuming him the first one popped off and broke. He used the vacuum again through 2 more contractions and it didn't really help. At this point Javan heart rate dropped so we stopped pushing and rested for a bit and the dr ran across the hall and literally caught another baby and ran back in. Javan's heart rate had improved so we were ready to push again. I pushed like crazy which my dr informed me I pushed like a rock star and that was not the issue at one point while he had his hand up in there trying to get Javan past my pelvic bone when I push I smashed his finger between Javan's head and my pelvic bone. That gave us all a good laugh which we needed since things were getting kinda stressful. He tried the vacuum 2 more times and Javan just wouldn't move pass my pelvic bone and the dr said he was worried the cord was wrapped around something, and it was time now for a c-section. Oh and I forgot to mention around the time I was dilated to and 8 my epidural quit being so effective. I could feel everything that was going on down there and all the contractions. Ouch. My dr apologized to me and was probably more upset than I was that with my finally baby I was having to have a c-section and that we hadn't even discussed c-sections because neither he nor I thought that in a million years I'd need one! I'd already successfully birthed 3 kids with out any complications. So we were rushed into the OR at 6:40 and prepped for a c-section and I was numbed up better and let me tell you at this point I was glad about my decision to get the epidural. 1 I would have been really freaking mad to go through all that with out one only to end up with one and 2 since it was an emergency c-section I'm pretty sure they would have had to knock me out for the c-section and that would have really upset me. I was way more calm than I think most people are in this situation I didn't cry I think I knew during all the pushing and vacuuming that this was where it was all going to end. My dr made my incision nice and low according to him and the nurses who checked on it later also verified this by saying my dr must really like me because of how low and small my incision was.(I have no idea because I don't know where the incision is normally made so I just have their word to go by). At 6:59pm  Javan was born 8lbs 3oz 20 inches with the cord wrapped 2 times around his neck and a little skin missing off the top of his head from the vacuuming. So nearly 12 hrs start to finish. Out of everything that happened came a beautiful little boy that I'm just so thankful is healthy. :-)

since I've been slacking lately....here is what's going on mainly in my head

I know I really haven't been blogging lately but I kinda hit a blah stage with everyday. So I'm not really doing anything other than sitting around all day reading then get up and cook dinner and then sit back down. Hopefully this will all change soon since I believe Javan will be induced on the 25th of February. Not the most idea situation to be induced but it's better than what would happen should I go into labor in the middle of the night and I can't get a hold of Traci and I have to bring all 3 kids with us to the hospital. It would not be good for me and Traci might die the next time I see her if it were to play out that way ;-) This is my biggest fear that she will not answer her phone at all or that she does answer and is drunk. Neither way would do me much good. Thankfully Tasha has told me that should Traci fail to answer to call her and she'll come help. I really hope I don't need that and that everything can just work out but I feel better having a back plan! All that worrying aside I am so FREAKING EXCITED that Javan is just weeks away from being born. I'm so ready to hold him and cuddle him and see what he looks like and getting to know him!!

 I just have to make it through the birthing part. Which I had pretty much convinced myself to do naturally with no pain meds. Well then of course I watched the new show One Born Every Min and I'm completely freaking out. I have no clue why. I had Brandon with no pain meds (OK i had 1cc of Demerol which did NOTHING for the pain) but I was hooked up to pitocin for most of my labor it HURT LIKE HELL, but I did it and lived. So I know I can do it and let me tell you when they turned off the pitocin I could totally handle the contractions. With Danika I was induced and wanted drugs from the get go and it was a breeze I played cards and napped and then pop that little girl out. With Lucas I labored for quite a bit at home and only went to the hospital once I was getting really uncomfortable. By the time we got there I was already a 5 and shortly there after chickened out they gave me stydol and I got an epidural like 30 min later. This time I had a reaction to the epidural and it made me itch from head to toe so they gave me benadryl. All the drugs mixed together pretty much knocked me out. It was not good. They had to put me on oxygen because I wasn't breathing deep enough for the baby, and I had a hard time staying conscious to let anyone know it was time. Thankfully a nurse came in to mess with the computer and i was able to get her attention to let her know I thought he was coming out. He was born so quick that he still had the stydol in his system and he had to be watched for 3 hrs and given meds to reverse it because he wasn't breathing very well. He ended up being fine in the long run but I'm so afraid of a repeat of that, but I really really am scared I wont be able to cope with the pain. BLEH OK I know this is all just a rambling but this is a lot that's going through my head 24/7. Who knows how Javan's birth will go I hope it just all goes smoothly and we both come out OK. That's really all I care about :-)

i must have been in total denial

so today I got on the scale and weighed myself just like I do every few days just to see how much I weigh (because I have this morbid obsession to make my self depressed lol) and today it reads 169.8 lbs so I'm thinking that's good so far I've only gained 10 lbs (followed by a mental high-five) even though 3 days ago it was 170.6 I'm happy it momentarily dropped below again lol So I get in the shower and am scrubbing away all happy as a clam when it hits me. Before I got pregnant I weighed 155 lbs and from all the morning sickness I dropped down to 149 lbs! Now I'm freaking out! OMG!! How the heck did this happen?? How did I put on 20 lbs and not even register it in my baby fogged up brain (this kid better be super smart with all my brain juices it's sucking away lol) because I'm sure if in my fuddled brain I had realized I jumped up 13ish lbs in 2 weeks I would have been more worried earlier. I was seriously trying to only gain 20 lbs this pregnancy and I still have 13 weeks left :-O I repeat how in the heck did this happen?? and where was I during all this (probably to busy stuffing my face to notice lol)?

Duh

So I've definitely hit that brain dead part of pregnancy. I am forgetting things left and right and can't remember stuff I've done the day before. This is so frustrating! Ugh! That and typing has become a challenge since I can't remember what I started typing about in the beginning lol! And I find myself just sitting around staring off into space! This is why i haven't blogged in a few days! Maybe I'll get some good sleep tonight and my brain will functions again!

Hormonal Upheaval

So this is what's been bothering me lately a lot.
 Like most people who have kids or are planning to I want to be the best parent I can be. It's not like when you think about it anyone goes yeah I'm ok with just being an O.K. parent or I'm fine with not putting in the effort or time to make this little person the best they can be (or at least I hope people don't think that way). Normally most days I find it easy to be at my best but some days it is a struggle (we all have those days). That being said this pregnancy has played havoc on my hormones and I've not felt well most days. I was nauseous 24-7 for nearly 4 months and have been having hormone headaches almost daily since I got pregnant. Not feeling well and trying to parent at the same time is hard. It's manageable in small bursts like when you have a cold but this has been 5 months. Not feeling well and not sleeping well has made me extremely irritable which ends up causing me to snap at my kids.
Brandon seems to kinda understand that this is just something we have to get through but Danika and Lucas just don't get it. Don't get me wrong I am so thrilled to be pregnant again and can't wait to meet my new baby, but I am so ready for him to be born just so I can be me again. All of my other pregnancies have been symptom free so they were easy to go through this one I feel like invasions of the body snatchers has happened lol and I just want my body back! ;-)
I feel so bad for the way I treat my family lately but it doesn't seem to be under my control. I try really hard to not get frustrated or angry at the little things but everything just irks me. Parenting has been a strange balancing act for me lately. It's been me snapping at my children followed by me trying to show them I love them. It's like I'm constantly trying to play catch up. All the while trying to make them all 3 still feel as important as the new baby is.
I really am trying to keep things even I always have between the 3 kids trying to not treat the oldest different than the youngest but treat them what's appropriate for their age and keeping the same rules for them all. I know once the baby is born that they might feel, I don't know, replaced but I'm trying my hardest to make it not that way. We are going to make an huge effort to still get one on one time with each kid so no one gets lost in the shuffle!
I just wish it didn't seem most days to be such a struggle to get through but I do know it wont always be this way and I will get back to being the fun loving strictish parent I used to be :-) not the grumpy old lady who crawls out her cave to growl at everyone every day!

since no one reads this i can type what i want anyways!!

So I found out June 30th that I'm pregnant again! Yipee! Except I kinda figured it out earlier since on June 21st I threw up and ever since then it's been a continuous fight daily to keep my stomach contents down. We're holding off on announcing it to everyone until the end of the first trimester which is soooo hard for me. I want to tell everyone but since last time I had a miscarriage we figured it'd save a lot of awkward moments if I didn't tell all of facebook. So until September mums the word. I quit drinking sodas which along with the pregnancy is kicking my butt! I'm soooo tired. I've been going to sleep the last two weeks at like 9pm! I'm very excited about being pregnant I just hope and pray everything goes right this time around and I should be able to go to the doctor in like 2 weeks when we get our new insurance cards! I just wish I didn't have morning sickness I've never had it before and it sucks big time!